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Week of November 6th

Hi my Jambalaya... Crayfish Pie… Filet Gumbo…


You may have noticed I’m a little behind on this week’s email. I usually push this out every Tuesday, like cuckoo clockwork. However, we’ve been in New Orleans celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary, with a couple of brothers and parents that flew in from Hawaii, all the in-laws, a handful of YOLO friends that joined the madness, as well as my large net of family and friends already here… and then our 5 year old decided to start sleeping like a Pelican.

She stays up foraging during a full moon, crying for crayons and mama (which are both accessible), causing her to sleep standing up during the day; sometimes crashing on her belly with her beak turned to the side. So it’s that usual full throttle schedule of managing this big ensemble, treasured moments, as well as the not so nuanced nuisances that come with family, impromptu cocktail parties, a diurnal/nocturnal bird, and SO many clear liquids with an olive at the bottom.

So thank you all for being patient with my lagging a little this week. It’s been pretty full days with full pots of gumbo… plus not to be like T-Pain and “blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol.” But I also wouldn’t rule out the alcohol. 


I’m still at the midway mark of our trip, so I don’t know if I have the most distant perspective on anything yet. However, there are some ironic intersections I always hit when I come back home. For a city known for debauchery to visitors, there is actually a lot of undeniable discipline in the folks that live here. You wander some streets that might feel unprotected and far from home; yet one block over it’s safe and you’ve made it home. Parts of the culture are vibrant and judge free while others parts require a black tie and black and white views.

Anytime you travel it broadens your perspective; your horizon lines stretch a little wider on the edges. The zoom lens pushes back. However when you travel to a place where you have roots and family, it’s a little harder to see things from a panoramic view. It’s more of a deep immersive dig. The wide lens narrows and burrows. Especially with complicated family dynamics it feels less like insight gained and more like steps back or steps stuck. We’ve all seen it- full grown adults reverting back to their role in their family lineup. Things are taken personally instead of objectively, our perspectives are clouded, more regressed…reverted… we get a case of re-vertigo. 


On this trip, given that it’s a milestone of a beautiful union 10 years ago, I’m embracing both the complicated deep content that drudges up with family dynamic regressions as well as the broader perspectives. All long relationships (whether a marriage or family), need a mix of feeling so close that you’re personally invested along with a history so long it has frayed, tangled moments combined with the distance to understand what a treasure that is in itself. These all try to exist in the middle where introspective meets reverted; retrospective.

This week, let’s move in a happy juxtaposition. Inspired by this deeply complicated city and unbudging love, embrace the ironic intersections.  Give ourselves permission to feel both foreign and familiar in our body. Both frustrated with the potholes but proud of the history that ripples through us and puckers up.  Feeling both far from home and arriving home. 


Excited to make your bodies sweat, smile, and cherish deep rich love and all the comes with it.




“There are many things we only see clearly through retrospective.”

~ Haruki Marujami 


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