In a couple of DAYS I'm heading off to host my first ever overseas retreat. Technically same seas, relatively short flight, but STILL! Bar has been raised, ante has been upped, the map has been thrown out, and the parameters of what is possible has been blown open. Definitely feels different heading into this one ... also changes EVERYTHING for retreats from here on out.
It's very fitting though that this retreat is called a Powerful Pause. It's in the jungles of Haramara where Wifi is strategically weak and you are forced to completely unplug. So as much as I have my Bedazzled Cruise Ship Director cap on, the closer I get to the retreat the more I realize how much I need it myself. Life is expected to go WAY too fast. Response times need to be faster, Wifi needs to be faster, service needs to be faster, commutes need to be faster, booking tickets have to be done faster. If you can't go fast enough that's totally fine - there's an AI that can and is happy to replace you. I feel like we're going 100 miles an hour and can't get ahead of any of it. I think we are all over extended, and need a serious PAUSE.
Organizing this retreat has had me so buried in my laptop, laser focused on micro-detailed logistics of this tight operation that it's kept me from lifting my head and acknowledging the outer rings, the bigger operation that makes it even possible. My family that is rooting me on from the sidelines are not even on the sidelines - they are the actual path that allows me to go where I need. My husband's instant support when I proposed it all and exactly how LONG I'll be gone for, (maybe not super instant. He had roughly a thousand questions first and some slanted number crunching that could only come from a very skeptical Polish calculator [ref. previous email on cynicism vs. skepticism]). BUT once it was all okayed, he laid out his Superman cape. Ready take on full time childcare duties - on top of a full time work schedule. Then there's the quiet processing and brave little stoic puffy cheeks my little girl has when I tell her that mama will be gone for 9 days. There's also the back up systems in place circulating the family unit, there's a rockstar Babcia on childcare standby. Family friends that live close by, other parents from school that can jump in. "Uncle MakMak" is a last resort but still an option - he will put on Disney+ for a bottle of wine and free dinner. All a phone call away. These are the little unspoken but never taken for granted heroes when it comes to mama or dada leaving town.
Still the looking up and acknowledging the incredible supportive systems in place, and then looking down and seeing all the work put in and operations that need to run smoothly to make this retreat happen...then there's the brave puffy cheeks...it does make you ask, is it all worth it??
Which by the way, it's always healthy and very smart to ask yourself this, about ANYTHING, at any point. As we've learned, skepticism is healthy. But here's when I go back to our trip to Berlin. Where we had quite the hard haul of being in a foreign country for a month, the hottest time of the year, speaking the language "nicht," without transportation and a child that hates walking because it's "boring." I came away from this concluding that an experience that is hard, or requires a little extra gas in our tank and an extra inch from the support around us, does not mean it's not worth doing. Sometimes it's exactly those efforts and community support that kick things into a better place so that things actually function better when we're back in our routines.
The changing of the guards might help the guards appreciate each other more, create more harmony as a whole. For instance the guard who has never made sandwiches for school lunch and rarely cooks dinner, might realize the juggle is real, and be more grateful for how much the other guard has been doing. The guard that leaves their post gets the reset they need, learns they can depend on the other guard, and might even miss making all the sandwiches! Hypothetically of course. Basically the break in routine, the distance from stubborn habits, could allow the things that have been needing to happen to finally have the space for it to happen.
Again I am gonna reference Dr. Jamil Zaki, (a neuroscientist that I've been fan'girling out on lately) he mentions a study done in Southeastern Brazil where there are two fishing villages. The population of fish are the same, the population of people are the same, their sense of community are the same. However one is on the ocean and the other one is on the lake. The fishing village on the ocean requires bigger boats, heavier duty fishing equipment, you can't do it alone and have to lean on the community. The fishing village on the lake SEEMS to have it easier. The seas are easier to manage, the fish are closer, small boats are able to catch fish on their own pretty easily. However the study shows the village on the lake that SEEMS to have it easier wound up working less efficiently and the community as a whole didn't flourish as much as the ocean village. It was an environment that did not need to rely on each other which created isolation. This eventually created competitiveness. The ocean village was able to produce more, take care of each other better, be more trusting and trustworthy, which made the whole environment more harmonious.
I am not saying we need to purposely produce hardships on each other so we can learn to lean on each other. I think though we should not shy from important opportunities because we are afraid of the hard stuff that comes with it. Without pushing ourselves out of our small lakes, which might seem cozy but keeps us isolated, we forget to see the other beautiful sea of support that is around us. Experiences like the Berlin trip, and this retreat, put me in a bigger ocean. In an environment where I can reflect with more clarity, bond deeper with myself or others, and experience my favorite type of awe. Not just the physical type of awe, the sense of something being bigger than you - so beautiful it takes your breath away. Moral awe, experiencing true acts of kindness in people, generosity and goodness in people. That's my favorite kind that has me going back to a place. So when I ask "is it worth it?"
... it's gonna be a "yes."
Look I realize not everyone could take the time off for this retreat, or is still paying off big summer trips. There will be more, so there's that! So keep following me and checking the website for the next one. However in the the meantime I do hope you find your own Powerful Pauses. This week let's step into deeper oceans and go a little further away from our comfort zones. Sometimes it takes that far far distance from what we know to appreciate what we have, OR realize what we don't actually need. Once we free ourselves from our tiny bodies of fast pace water, we can actually notice all the awes. The physical beauty around us, the moral beauty in people being kind and supporting us, in the studio you might experience a beauty that you surprise yourself with. The rewards you feel for showing up, being patient and believing in yourself. Moves that initially felt "ow" ... slowly turned into "aha" ... and eventually "awe."
Excited to make your bodies sweat, smile, and do the bigs things that help us notice all the awe.
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