Playful Makes Perfect

There was a day when Noemie was "so, so, SO BORED." This day is actually most days. We weren't going to give in to screens or drop work to be her patient at her plastic kit doctor's office ... or sidekick in her make-believe world (unlike our favorite TV dad, you know, that blue-colored Australian Cattle Dog. You know the one who seems to have limitless time and energy to come up with the most clever games and characters for his kids).

As the guardians of this tiny restless, often combative, spirit we see value in any opportunity that forces her to fill a blank space on her own. Whether that's a blank piece of paper or an empty afternoon she needs to fill. Because the thing about this tiny restless, often combative, spirit, is she is she is flowing with a high voltage of creativity. It's just a matter of showing her how to plug into this. Not just at times when there's an easel set up and paint brushes lined up. Can she find it on a day with no plans and no structure?

Well, right around the time I was about to lose my mind and cave, I actually had my finger on the power button on the remote, she went to her room with a little black sewing kit under her arm. She didn't come out for three hours. Every parent fears the eerie sound of silence when your child is behind a shut door... in this case with tiny sewing shears. She's either restyling her hair or turning all her shirts into crop tops, what she calls "craw taws."

She finally emerged wearing her old baby blanket that she sewed into a Grecian gown with a bias-cut seam and straps that were dinner napkins in their former life. She was beaming, we were in awe, and everyone felt really good about themselves... until the next day when it all replayed itself.

Which is the hardest part: how do you turn a one-off moment of being resourceful into a habit? It's something most adults struggle with. It's easy to navigate life when you have clear instructions and a map to get to where you want to go. When a fun person is in front of you, it's easy to have fun. When you're in a museum or watching a John G. Avildsen film, it's easy to feel inspired.

When you have a ton of time and wake up every day full of energy, it's easy to stick to a fitness routine. The reality is most of life is treading water in an open ocean without a tow.

So the question is, how do you find consistency when life is inconsistent? Turn that one time you made a healthy decision into a habit, or that productive moment when you were inspired to sew a dress into a new hobby?

I've revisited a podcast I love with James Clear, a speaker and author of Atomic Habits. According to Clear, we tend to fall into habits because they're a fast solution to a problem. I'm tired...so I need coffee. I'm stressed from work...so I need to sit and have a glass of wine. I'm bored...so I need to turn on the TV. These are where we land because it's the most convenient, and it's usually what we've inherited from what we've seen growing up. His advice on breaking out of this is to make the new habit as easy as possible to start. The place most people tend to talk themselves out of something is the very beginning. The first 30 seconds of friction or that initial discomfort of doing something different. That's when you decide to stay in your sweatpants and go "nah." According to Clear, you just have to master that 30-second window. Because once you're in the car heading to the gym or that class you've been nervous to try, you're not going to turn around at that point. So, make those steps to get out of the house, to get on the right course or in front of the right people, as easy as possible. Then keep exercising that restart button until it becomes autopilot."Sticking with something is making it easy to start everyday."

This might be easier said than done when you really care about what you are heading into but don't have a routine set up yet—don't know exactly what you need. It's hard to just get up and go sometimes. The response Clear would have to this is, it doesn't matter. Go anyway. Part of the problem why so many folks quit a good thing is because they put too much pressure on it and their performances. The second they have an "off day" or miss a week, they decide to throw in the towel. World-class athletes and professional dancers make the same amount of mistakes as anyone else. The only difference is they know how to get back on track very fast.. "If reclaiming a habit is fast, then breaking it doesn't matter as much."

I actually think that's the best news. It's less about mental toughness or discipline, forget about that. Life is too unpredictable for that. It's more about the ability to pivot. If you don't have time to workout, then just plan to do the shortest workout of your life. If you're not feeling energized then just plan to workout as pathetically as possible. If you don't have the materials you need to create something amazing, then pick up the materials that are available and make something silly. Show up in SOME way. According to all the super smart neurologists, the days where you have a bad workout, but you showed up anyway, wind up being the most important workout. This is the type of workout that will change the reward system in your brain. It reshapes your brain's "plasticity" - Huberman's favorite word. Soon the perspective changes from asking ourselves "what can I stick with so I feel my BEST every time?" to "what can I stick with even WHEN I won't be feeling my best every time." Then you'll truly see results from being consistent, because "to be consistent is to show up on the days when it's not perfect."

This is especially a struggle with perfectionists. The idea that unless conditions are ideal and there's a guarantee that your performance will be great, then what's the point in trying at all. The BEST remedy for this is "curiousity" or bringing in "PLAY." So it's not about failing or succeeding, it's about reaching. You take away obsessing over end results, you are present in the process. You become a student that experiments rather than a professional that can't make any mistakes. The more we can embrace the slip ups and bring a sense of play into our training, thats when you wind up landing the most daring tricks or sewing the most incredible gowns. Clear says continually putting yourself situations where there is a risk of failure but there is very little stake, this is what will make you a master of your craft. Guaranteed if my daughter was given the same fabric and the same amount of time to sew something, but as a competition where there was a reward on the line, it would not have been as successful. She would have over thought it, added or edited too much. She would have come out with a bob and bedazzled "craw taw."

You are more likely to do something extraordinary or reach for that next level when the pressure isn't attached and you bring in a sense of play. This is basically rehearsals, kick arounds, recess, scrimmages, dance offs with friends, trivia games, PILATECISING.

Pilatecise and the idea of "putting the play in Pilates" is not just a catchy phrase I like to throw around. I take play very seriously. The way we move in class changes people's perspectives on movement. I can see clients start to take the pressure out of it, and off themselves! If they stumble, they are quick to get up. If they miss a class, they're back next week. If it's cold, wet, so early that it's still dark out, they'll show up. I mean sure, they'll walk in complaining about it, but they still walk in. They always show up in some way. Then, before they know it, the real physical results start to show. These are the clients that reach their goals quicker than they thought and become seriously strong.

This month I have created playful routines and a space where if you're not feeling energized, you're allowed to work out as pathetically as possible. If you don't have a lot of time, you can fly in, kick your coat to the ground and your keys across the room, and fly out. If you're "so so SO BORED," then guess what? I happen to specialize in restless, often combative spirits. I'll put you on a Bosu with a baby blanket over your head.

Excited to make your bodies sweat, smile, and keep showing up to PLAY.

XO,

Celeste