Find The Ground in The Air

Happy 2025!!! I am freshly dehydrated off a plane ... and also ready to kick this New Year into high petroleum gear! Which before you google it, that's not actually a thing. Not an expression or a type of gear - nor is it eco-friendly. Solar powered - hydroelectric - wind powered gear? When I catch up on sleep I'll think of something better.

We had planned to get back early on Sunday, so we'd have some time to recoup, adjust to PNW temps and time before the Monday morning 7 a.m. school bell. Alas, like any travel or family vacation, things do not go as planned. Our ambitious early morning flight was delayed. The good news is we found out before we got to the airport, before waking up the little one (so she got to stick to normal-ish sleep on her little pad on the floor), and before taking my sip of coffee. I literally had the mug propped up to my face, elbow out, when we found out. The not-so-fun news is it was pushed to a WAY later flight, getting us in on Monday at 2 a.m. PST. Rough. My husband and I were huddled in a stairwell at 4:15 a.m. looking at other flight options and composing emails to the school about her inevitable Monday absence. In the end, we decided it's just easier to bear down and accept the fate of our late-night flight, which was very much the theme of the whole trip. Sometimes it's easier to ride the large wave approaching us, rather than flipping and contorting into an easier option that's not available.

We knew we wanted to spend our holiday with my family in my hometown, Kailua. This quick defrost and recharge turned into a long-overdue family reunion. It felt like it expanded and morphed overnight, like one of those pills you put into a glass of water, and the next morning it expands into a soggy dinosaur. Everyone is coming at once! My immediate family is 6 total, and with the kids and (very patient) significant others, it's 14. Out of the 14, 12 were staying under one roof. Every possible bed option and inch of floor space was maxed out. We had children spilling into the hallways on any type of foam cushiony surface. I know there are bigger families out there, and with shared calendars and miles, coordinating these things is possible. However, wrangling this "not so big but also not so small" group is not simple. We are a molotov cocktail of A.D.D., neurodivergencies, anxieties, fears of flying, fears of fears... these are just the adults. In this case, thank goodness there are the children in the room to keep the adults accountable.

So it wasn't so much the crowded physical space, but the emotional capacities were tight. There were some emergency evacuations to the nearest white sandy beach to get some fresh air and reset. I had to plop my husband down in front of an ocean with a tub of poke and chopsticks, and everything was okay again. There was a real juxtaposition between the clumsy chaos in the foreground and breathtaking tropical background. Think National Lampoon Christmas Vacation with the backdrop of your beach screen saver.

I have to admit, going into this trip, I had so much anxiety. I had exit plans at every row of the plane, prepared to twist, turn, and contort to get ahead of the hard moments, ready to pull the cord early to get off the ride. As I had mentioned, though, travel and family vacations do not go as planned. I found myself pleasantly surprised more often than not. Because even though my family is not perfect or completely healed of their "ticks," I could see a real effort put in to be better. Everyone made room; made room in their patience, made room in their routines, made room in their literal room. It made more room for beautiful moments—unexpected joy. It helped me make room as well, drop negative presumptions and my plans to dodge the rough moments, and actually stay in it. Give it a chance. Being proven wrong in those moments was the best feeling. There were nights when my family felt like the light and fun Caliris that I remembered.

On our last day ALL of us went to the beach. All three generations having an epic beach day, including my mom who turns into a glittery dust devil when she's in the sun for too long. We were in the ocean teaching Noemie how to tackle the waves. If you try to half run from it and half not move, your body is unsure and not strong to handle it. Thats when you get tangled up and tossed in the break. You have to be strong "like a mushroom" (my Polish husband came up with that not me) - be sturdy and decisive. Head into it and dive into the face of the wave. I thought that was a pretty perfect way to explain how we tackled this trip. When a messy wave came our way, an emotional outburst was queued up, a brutal flight was ahead of us, wasting our time with fancy exit plans didn't solve it. Sometimes these things are placed in front of us for a reason. To help us be stronger swimmers. To be stronger travelers. To help us be better parents and siblings, closer cousins, and stronger communicators.

This week I'm just happy to be back and set the tone for 2025 with you. Let's not go into the New Year with ambitious resolutions ... or no resolutions at all. If you set your expectations too high you set yourself up to get too overwhelmed and squirm out of it. No resolutions at all you don't give yourself a chance to see what you're capable of. Set doable goals, small achievable ones, to build the momentum to work towards the bigger ones. When obstacles come be strong and decisive, "like a mushroom." Find your footing in the chaos instead of half running and half not moving - essentially flailing.

There was an interview with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo for their role in Wicked. They said it best when they were asked how there were able to sound so strong while being harnessed in the air. Erivo's vocal coach told her to "Find the ground in the air." Which the interviewer, who admitted to being A.D.D. and neurodivergent, felt like that is such helpful advice for panic attacks. I think it's just overall perfect advice moving into the New Year.

Excited to make you bodies sweat, smile, and find the ground in the air!!

(or be "like a mushroom" in the ocean ... same thing)

XO,

Celeste

Happy New Year!