Mental health has been a big topic on here lately, really always, because I think it will forever be relevant. As life seems to be moving faster, the multitask is more complicated, and time is becoming more precious, mental health seems to be what is sacrificed the most at the end of the day. Out of all the juggling plates, that's the plate that we forget to catch and comes crashing down. However we're in a time, and entering a season, where we need to be stronger than ever.
Last week was about Cue Centered Therapy, tools to help with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Which are rarely a solo performance, they all tend to build and play off each other like a favorite holiday cocktail. Cue Centered Therapy is noticing the cues when you feel you are having a PTSD response or panic attack, then slowing down and breaking the chain of negative thoughts with calming tools you yourself are equipped with. One of these tools is practiced positive thoughts - and experiences that help encourage this.
I'm finding this helpful since I'm noticing and experiencing a lot of anxious feelings lately. I'm worried so much about the future that I have a hard time being present. I tightly pack negative concerns like a stack of imperfect snowballs. Then I dwell on the unsymmetrical snowballs stacking up on top of each other so much that I'm not able to step back and appreciate the amazing snowman I'm building. So I'm having to dig into my own toolbox, making sure I'm doing things that help me stand back enough to see the bigger picture and keep my head lifted to stay more present. One of them is making plans to do things I look forward to, not obligations but things I genuinely want to do. Even when I feel like I'm juggling too much, I still make it a priority. I say yes to invites that feel fun, or remove things from my schedule that I'm not excited about so I have room for the things that do excite me. It seems so simple, but it takes time to break old habits and practice! Last night was a good first step.
My daughter and I were gifted a night at the theatre; we saw Mary Poppins at the 5th Ave Theatre. I say "gifted" because it was actually a Christmas gift from a good friend, and I have to say it was truly a gift. My favorite gifts are shared experiences that have meaning, where you learn more about the person giving the gift and feed off their enthusiasm. I also love a gift that you usually do not allow yourself to have for whatever reason. This gift had all of those things. Especially that last piece, I think, is the most important to revisit.
Even as a gift and having this time blocked out, old habits and unwarranted guilt is stubborn. I still struggled with whether I deserved this luxury as I got closer to it. For me it's not just the cost value of it but the luxury of time. The guilt of going somewhere for a full day just for fun, not to work or checking off something from my "to do list." This time though, I told myself it was for my daughter, she'll love it, so we're doing it. I didn't realize how important it was for ME! How much the music, the humor, the stomping chimney sweeps and spinning skirts, would open up my own creative valves and be a big hug for my own mental health. I also found it funny that beforehand I kept saying I was worried about "the 6 year old sitting still for over 3 hours"....when really I was worried about ME. How is my racing brain and restless body going to find still?!
Well I'll tell you how ... Julie Andrews.
To prepare for Mary Poppins, Noemie and I went down a rabbit hole of Julie Andrews musicals. What I realized about all of the parts she plays is she looks good in every hair style, she makes the world feel boundless while having strong boundaries herself, she knows how to handle a far right chauvinist, has quick wit that puts you in your place and also makes you fall in with love her, a beautiful warm voice you completely trust...and in all her roles she practices Cue Center Therapy.
In Mary Poppins the kids couldn't keep a nanny, the dad was unreasonable and completely consumed with work - in constant fear of unemployment, the mom was trying to please her husband and completely lost. Mary Poppins was very clear she wasn't going to float down from an umbrella and fix everything. She was providing a toolbox, or more a bottomless purse, for Jane and Michael, even George and his wife Winifred, to be able to cope on their own. So that when she leaves they always have these tools and tricks to pull from. Making medicine taste like a spoonful of sugar, finding a world beyond a sidewalk chalk drawing, turning chimney sweeps and trips to the bank into a fun activity for the kids. These were all tools to help break the negative thoughts. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, (which is ACTUALLY a word by the way), is a big beautiful positive word. A whole freight train of all things wonderful. The biggest barricade to block negativity.
In Sound of Music Julie Andrews plays Maria, and she doesn't float effortlessly into a home via umbrella but rather runs chaotically to the front gates of the Von Trapp home. She is forced to take leave from the convent to help a retired naval officer, a widower, trying to manage a home with seven children. She is met again with military rules, misguided children, a sad strict dad who doesn't make time for his children. She gives them all tools to help them cope, in the form of music and spinning on top of mountains. Whatever helps break up the grief and oppressive times of war. My Favorite Things is basically a song about Cue Centered Therapy. Maria offers a list of all the things that can go in the children's toolbox when they get scared. "When I'm feeling sad ... I simply remember my favorite things ... And then I don't feel so bad."
We all know the ending, she doesn't float away or go back to wearing a habit. In this story she does what all runaway nuns do. She runs off with the General and leaves her vow of poverty for a huge inheritance.
The lather, the side of us that gets scared and stressed, is a character much like Ebenezer Scrooge. He is a recluse, turns down invitations, and decides he knows best. Has more of a black and white view of things, assumes the worst, and lacks curiosity to think otherwise. This is more of a cynic mindset, which again is a call back to my favorite podcasts about positive mindsets and cynicism. Cynics do not update their beliefs even though there is new information. They assume the worst examples are representative. Ebenezer needed something more powerful than a visit from Julie Andrews, even with her magical music and perfect teeth. Apparently he needed a mix between an exorcism, hypnotism, and time travel to come to his senses.
I think we all strive to be more like Julie Andrews and less like Ebenezer, but it's normal to teeter between the two. Especially when we're stressed or under pressure heading into the holidays. What's important is we don't beat ourselves up too much when we have a cold, reclusive Ebenezer moment. Even an over the top Julie Andrews moment, spinning around trying to make everything happy and perfect - completely in denial. As long as we can notice the cues and become more aware when we are heading into either of these extremes. Maybe the perfect state is right in the middle of the two, Julie Andrew's magic and wild optimism, and Ebenezer's skepticism and practicality (the version of him after phantom shock therapy). Then having the tools ready, a bottomless magic bag, to keep us balanced.
For me, the big tool I dug for this week was saying yes to a gift. An all day musical production that I not only felt my daughter deserved ... but I deserved to enjoy as well. I want to offer more of these tools and opportunities in the studio this week. More movements and moments for you to say yes to, even if your system isn't sure you can do it or deserve it. Say yes to the opportunities outside the studio as well, whether it's a well deserved family vacation, or treating yourself to my next Bon Vivant. Make both your mental and physical health a priority. So like a mix between a Ebenezer (Christmas morning Ebenezer) and Julie Andrews we lead with hopeful skepticism ... or sensible optimism.
Because please kids, despite what the song says, don't take "spoonfuls of sugar" from strangers!!
Excited to make your bodies sweat, smile, and keep digging into your bottomless bag of Favorite Things.
XO,
Celeste
"First of all, I would like to make one thing clear: I never explain anything."
~ Mary Poppins
Captain von Trapp: "Fraulein Maria, did I or did I not say that bedtime is to be strictly observed in this household?"
Maria: "Yes, well, the children were scared of the thunderstorm and...You did, sir."
Captain von Trapp: "And do you or do you not have trouble following these simple instructions?"
Maria: "Only during thunderstorms, sir."
~ Sound of Music
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