top of page


Week of May 20th

Hi my Lions, Tigers ... and LICE! OH MY!

Have you ever been walking and FEEL someone following you but every time you turn around - nothing is there!? Or the hairs in the back of your neck stand up and you're not quite sure why? You feel your skin crawl but see nothing crawling? You FEEL something but you SEE nothing, and you're worried that you're going crazy?

Well if you have strong stubborn atheist sentiments like my husband, you would hush the panicked crowd from atop the mound, and preach that "it's nothing." Completely psychosomatic. If it's not visible it does not exist and any energy towards it is an over reaction.

If you are someone like me that rules nothing out and everything is possible, you would say it's for sure something AND also possibly nothing. That we should see if someone is in fact a witch by setting them on fire, then seeing if they weigh the same as a duck. Then reverse the order because the first order is counterproductive. I tend to heavily research and spend way too much time investigating all possibilities.

If you are like the lice in my head, you would say, "it's totally me."

Peering through the hair stands like Johnny in The Shining.

So yes, it all checks out with the notices we've been getting from school and my daughter constantly attacking her curly mop. Knowing all the things you know above about me, I did not ignore it. I looked into it. I ordered and applied all the things. Slept well that night on 130 degree Fahrenheit torched pillow cases, knowing I've done the things to all the itchy heads of the household (even the cat eared ones), exhausted all my options. What I didn't realize was THE RETURN.

How quickly it comes back, how viciously it returns. How RELENTLESS these little shits are! The timeline is a little blurry but it was about 14 days after the initial outbreak and 10 days from the second treatment/NIX napalm blast. They came back. The timeline is also a little blurry because we had many curve balls within the same week that kept trying to deter our extermination. When I was in the middle of treating my own head (again), which is quite the time consuming process, sitting on the couch with my hair in tiny combed out sections, soaked in a solution that should only sit for 10min ("NO LONGER"...thats what it says in bold in the instructions), I get a call. It's the nurse's office at school because my daughter fell from the monkey bars. She's okay but "her neck hurts." Well that 10min timeline went out the window as I flew out the door. When I rushed into the school nurse's office, sporting a pretty punk mohawk, I found she was unable to move her head at all. Her memory of the fall was fuzzy, no one saw the fall, she was in a lot of pain. So yeh, as the remainder of the day was spent in waiting rooms at urgent care, the lice problem was pretty insignificant. As tiny and microscopic as the lice themselves.

I couldn't help but compare the two crisis as scary movie styles. There's the slower paced suspenseful ones, nothing huge happens but the offbeat weirdness keeps you unsettled. There's usually a constant high pitched buzzing sound layered into every scene, like in Between the Pines. Then there's a horror film style, a truly visually scary event with a big adrenaline rush and drop. I felt like in one day I was living both styles. The lice being the unsettled suspenseful story. Thinking the bad guy is gone but the feeling of it returning lingers. The fall off the monkey bars and rush to Children's Hospital was like the dopamine spike and scary uncertainty you get from a horror film.

The good news is her spine and her neck are totally fine. No damage done just muscle tension. One night of ice and ibuprofen and she was all good the next day. The bad news is we got another notice from her school today that there are more lice cases in her class and they found "some nits on her head." That high pitched buzz and lingering suspense is still there. Here we go, tonight will be another NIX nepalm bombing. This time I'm going to delegate the man on the mound, who claimed "none of it is real," to comb them out.

Last week you all worked HARD! Very proud, working on stamina and digging deep. We will continue working on muscle stamina but in more untapped places. In honor of how I've been quite literally treating my household, we will be detailed and no stone will be unturned. It was fitting my inspiration last week was a mama leopard protecting her cubs, seeing that my daughter and I spent a lot of time with our huge curly hair picked apart and teased out. I looked like an actual mama lion protecting her daughter cub. This time NO mercy!!!! ROAR!

Here is a picture of the little cub at urgent care. Yep she's wearing a head to toe leopard costume while holding a leopard. Much like the lice, the irony never escapes me.

Excited to make your bodies sweat, smile, and have the last ROAR!




bottom of page